Hello all of my beautiful people! Do you ever feel like when you blink, one whole month goes by? Yeah, me too. I could have sworn Halloween was yesterday. Now that it's November, you know what time it is...CUDDLING SEASON. The weather is getting colder, coats are getting thicker, and noses are getting runnier. You can just call me Olaf because I like (and want) warm hugs.
As I have stated merely just above, it is in fact cuddling season. Which is a prime time for any relationship. And if you know anything about my love life, then you know that I have never been in a serious relationship before. Which brings me to the topic of this post. Boyfriends and why wanting one is perfectly OK.
I have always wanted and craved the touch and love of a significant other. Whenever I read love stories, I always try to picture myself finding a love like fictional characters do. I crave someone to do all of those cheesy things couples do in the books I read and the movies I see. The more I think about those moments that I wish I had, I can't help but think if there is something wrong with me. I have never been taken on a date in all of my 19 years of living. Now don't get me wrong, I have had my fair share of boys here and there and "dating". To be fair, I don't think I would call any of the "relationships" I have been in relationships. I think before, my problem with "dating" was that I never truly liked that person. Whenever someone showed any kind of interest in me, I got excited because I never thought someone would actually like me. So I would "date" them. Now that I think about it, I think I liked the attention(which definitely isn't a good thing). Now that I am much more mature and knowing in that area of my life, I can say with confidence that I'm getting too old to engage in flings. I am ready to settle down with someone.
I've always kept a guard around my heart whenever I meet a boy that I am interested in who seems interested in me because I never know what kind of intentions they have. They could put on a show to make it seem like they like me until they get whatever they wanted from me, whatever it may be. I always invest myself and my feelings into a guy way too fast, and when they suddenly leave and disappear without a trace, I always get upset. But I mostly get upset with myself because I know that I am doing it to myself but I still continue to wreck my emotions all over again. If I really think about it, I haven't genuinely liked a guy since my freshman and sophomore year of high school. Now with that in mind, of course I've been attracted to someone and enjoyed talking to them and being in their presence, but it never progressed into anything further since the flirtationship never lasted very long.
So to wrap up what I'm trying to say...yes, I want a boyfriend. I want to be held when I'm sad, when I'm happy, or when I can't sleep. I want to be cuddled. I want someone to hug me and tell me how much they love my smile and my personality. I want to date to get married. I dream of a long lasting relationship with the man that I love. And before all you independent women out there tell me that I don't need a man and that I have myself and that's all I need, you're right, I don't need a boyfriend. But I sure as hell do want one.
xoxo
